I put off having the operation because I couldn't imagine how on earth I could cope with the recovery with a young family and with running a business too (so no sick leave). I've had loads of questions from other women on it all so I thought I'd do a blog to explain how I found it all.
Arranging the operation
I'd spoken to my GP who said they did very few varicose operations on the NHS now and only for severe cases which mine weren't classed as. I was fortunate to have private medical care through my husband's job so I got a private referral. I saw the consultant and she did an ultrasound on my leg and measured which veins were very big and therefore definitely varicose. She recommended doing a strip on both legs under general anaesthetic.
Surgery day
There was no food from 6am and no water from 9am which I did not love! I then went into the hospital at noon and had a fair bit of waiting until I had the operation at 5. The consultant drew some attractive lines on my legs in sharpie in preparation. I've never had a general anesthetic before so was really quite anxious about it. The consultant explained that it's exactly that same medicine they give your for local just more and that there are no more risks to me from it.
The anesthetic was fine and I fell gently to sleep in seconds and when I woke up I was in the recovery room with the nurse and consultant. I did feel groggy and my legs were both in ankle to thigh bandages. I had a doze for an hour or so and then food. After this the nurses are very keen to get you up and for a walk. This was NOT a joy! My legs were pretty sore and I have very low blood pressure so suddenly went faint with the room spinning.
Second time I managed to walk the length of the ward and that was me allowed to go home (and to bed!). They don't give you strong painkillers and just recommend paracetamol and ibuprofen and I found there was no pain unless I was walking so slept fine (ish).
Day 1: I'd been told to keep my feet up all day but have a 5-10 minute walk every hour. I was still in bandages so the stairs were awkward and walking wasn't great. But not bad enough to need painkillers. I had my dad and step mum look after the kids all day but they watched TV with me and I could still do bits and bobs for them. I did feel quite rough today after the anesthetic too.
Day 2: I still needed help with our three children (just turned 2, 4 and 6) but I was much more ok and the big highlight was that I was allowed to take the bandages off before bed - 48 hours after the operation. Whilst lying down I took off the bandages and then put on high high compression stockings which felt incredibly lovely compared to the bulkier bandages. .The compression stockings had to kept on the ENTIRE time.
Days 3 - 5: I felt better each day and was able to manage the kids at home fine. Friends did the school drops which was essential though (and I wasn't allowed to drive yet).
Day 6 - At bedime I was finally able to remove the control stockings which was amazing! And I was able to drive again. I had a walk for 30 minutes and felt fine too.
The hardest thing were the soreness of walking at first and mostly that I couldn't take off the bandages/stockings so didn't have a proper shower for a week. Nice!
Legs on day 6 - these little strips all fell off gradually.
Legs 2 months or so later. There's little white fine marks which are fading but I'm thrilled with them.
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“Can your unborn baby's kicks break your ribs?"
Yes ribs can be broken, and just parents generally.
"Are hot baths ok in pregnancy?"
"How not to poo when in labour."
“Is my baby clawing at my cervix?”
“Why is my husband more annoying when I’m pregnant?”
This is a biggie.....
"Will my boobs leak milk when I have sex?"
"Will I ever want to have sex again?"
"Does my wife love our baby more than she loves me?"
Awkward... but most likely yes.
“First smile or fart smile how to tell the difference.”
Just tell yourself it’s a smile if you're the recipient.
“Is there such a thing as a night nanny?”
Yes and they’re probably worth their weight in gold.
“Why does my baby snore like an old man?”
“Can you die from lack of sleep?”
Not before you completely lose your mind.
“Can bogies cause a baby to suffocate?”
How did breathing seem so simple until you watch your newborn doing it all night?
“Can a 1 year old be poisoned by licking a recently painted wall?”
Hopefully not.
“Are cat biscuits harmful to toddlers?”
No, apparently.
“Will my toddler get ill by eating baby bogies?”
Dear God…
"Average age for walking/talking/counting" Followed by "Is my child a genius?"
"Will eating mud give my toddler worms?"
“How to successfully hide from your toddler.”
I’m still waiting to learn the answer to this one.
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“… the stress and worry I put myself under because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him, like I was failing him. I know now that that was silly to think but at the time it was all I could think about to the point where I wasn’t enjoying my baby because I was so busy worrying over not being able to breastfeed. Every midwife I spoke to pressured me to keep going and completely dismissing the idea of the bottle (one even made me cup feed him just in case "he got used to the bottle teat") they made me feel awful, even worse than I already did and my health visitor started to suggested I had postnatal depression. I finally made the decision to bottle feed, it took me a while to realise that as long as he is fed bottle or breast then that's all that matters.” Rosie
The health benefits of breastfeeding seem to be well publicised. 75% of expectant mothers reported wanting to breastfeed and more than 4 in five said that they knew about the health benefits. But something seems to go wrong after this point. Perhaps some women don’t get enough of the right kind of help for breastfeeding. Also I think it’s true that breastfeeding is can be incredibly hard and isn’t going to always possible for every person, for example if you’ve been through a traumatic labour it can be much harder. It seems as though information about potential reasons why breast-feeding will not be possible is not shared readily for fear that people will be scared off before they even start. However, there are some situations where breastfeeding would put a huge strain on the mother and for the sake of the mental health of those women it would help to be better informed beforehand so they are not blindsided.
“One lovely midwife said to me, you’re a mammal. If you were in the wild and you’d gone through a labour like yours it would have resulted in your body trying to survive and producing milk isn’t helping you survive…Not everyone even gets the option. Be kind to each other and most of all yourself.” Bex
"Every baby and woman is different and what’s good for one might not work for the other so all we need to do is to support each other and not to judge how a mother chooses to feed her baby." Emma
"My advice to anyone who can't breastfeed, or is struggling to, is to be kind to yourself and reach out for support." Imy
Pregnant women may feel under a lot of pressure to make the healthiest choice and therefore feel judged if things don’t go to plan. It is true that breastfeeding has the advantage health wise but a message that it is easy and natural can fuel these feelings of guilt and failure. For some babies, say those who've been in high dependency units, or with severe tongue ties, feeding can quite simply be more difficult for mother and baby.
“I think its important to stress that whilst breastfeeding is fantastic and has the edge over bottle feeding....its not best if you’re crying in pain or if your baby isn't thriving on it and it's incredibly normal for breastfeeding to not go to plan…I think midwives put so much pressure with the breast is best campaign that if it doesn't work out you feel like a failure and you're not prepared because it's been made to sound like the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. Bottle feeding is a beautiful close time with your baby too...just as close...Make your choice, make your peace, your baby will thrive with your love whichever way they are fed" Lynne
“(It’s because) I was given the impression that breastfeeding is best and it’s easy that failing hit me really hard.” Lisa
"No I can’t feed him myself but I can still gaze into his beautiful brown eyes during bottle feeds and breathe in his amazing baby smell and know I’m doing best by him. Best by your baby is whatever works for them!" Em
"Be kind to yourself... the journey is never a straight path and guilt is delivered with the placenta, so be kind, whatever way your feeding your baby they are being nourished and you’re doing great! " Katie
"Don’t feel guilty, it’s nobody’s fault as long as you are both smiling and enjoying time to together it’s fine, and don’t assume just because it’s not someone’s first baby that it will work, they still need the help and support but in the end fed and happy is best!" Mel
“It prepares you for the rest of parenthood...things rarely go to plan” Catriona
We also want to highlight that there is some amazing breastfeeding peer support available across the UK. Good support transforms many women's feeding experiences and certainly did mine. We recommend the Facebook based IBCLC Led Support Group. as an amazing starting point and of course your local midwife and health visitor.
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It’s important to keep your energy levels going with some healthy snacks… or sweets.
Marshmallows, my husband fed me marshmallows. And the toast and tea right after was the greatest meal I have ever eaten!!!” Kit.
“Fruit pastilles! Lucozade sport” Ailsa
Keep active
Movement really is a good way to help you cope with the pain of labour and to help things progress. “Rocking, swaying, walking anything just keep moving for as long as possible” Hayley.
General fitness during pregnancy can also make a big difference and you might want to practise some techniques that you’ll be able to use during labour. “Yoga yoga yoga & an active birth workshop to learn different techniques! A squeeze of the hips when your contractions come” Vikki.
Be zen
The whole labour thing or the idea of it is quite stressful and we’re always told how beneficial it is to remain calm. That can be easier said than done, especially if you start to be anxious about the fact you’re anxious rather than chilled about being chilled! A lot of people recommend hypnobirthing as well as using your own coping mechanisms for avoiding panic. “Honestly as crazy as it sounds and as hard as it might be but relax and focus in what your doing, Not on what's about to happen.” Christelle.
“TENS, relaxing music through headphones, pretend candles, and a fake fire crackling on the laptop. Also, I gave birth next to the Christmas tree which added that extra bit of oxytocin.” Becky
Keep an open mind
Its helpful to have a birth plan if you’re happy to write one but equally remember that it contains ideas of what you think your preferences are rather than a schedule of events as they will really happen. “Just know it most likely won’t go to plan and have comfort in the expected unexpected.” Rachel.
Find your own trick
A lot of people have their own certain thing that they did to keep them going through contractions. It can help distract you or make you feel a little bit more in control of how you’re experiencing the birth. “I sang nursery rhymes through contractions to try and work out how far dilated I was. If I could still sing I didn't need to go to the hospital.” Natalie
“Breathe!!! In for 4 and out for 8. Provides muscles with the oxygen needed to get through labour and thus reducing pain.” Nicole
Remember you’re in safe hands
We heard a lot of praise for midwives. They really know what they’re doing, not just medically but in terms of helping the woman and birth partner to feel calm and secure. “Trust your Midwife! They're miracle workers!” Kathryn.
“Listen to the midwife, if she says stop pushing then stop, she's the one who can see your perineum and is trying to keep it intact if possible!” Natalie.
When things seem not to be going to plan your midwife has your best interests and that of your baby in mind so listen to what they have to say. “Midwives are saints, listen to them. I didn't want the birth I ended up having but with reflection, the midwife was incredible and gave me all the beat advice and guidance.” Kit.
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The Benefits of a milk bath
Evidence reports improvements in eczema and dermatitis from bathing in breastmilk. One research study did find that topical application of breastmilk had slightly higher rates of improvement than hydrocortisone cream. These are complicated conditions but as dryness is often a significant factor than the moisturising qualities of breastmilk could place it as a strong contender for a natural treatment.
There's evidence that breastmilk can speed up healing in minor cuts and grazes. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence on this so it can’t hurt to give it a try. In fact, the same study looking into breastmilk usage for eczema found that it was equally effective for aiding healing of nappy rash as the usual creams. This is great news for many parents and babies as nappy rash seems to rear its ugly head whenever we are least prepared for it!
A milk bath can be a soothing experience and of course we’ll do anything to calm a fractious baby. You could add some flowers, leaves or slices of fruit (great for photos) and an essential oil that is safe for babies such as lavender, although care should always be taken with any essential oils and do double check which oils are deemed safe for younger babies before you add them. Plastic flowers, as in these photos can be a great option as they're safe if your baby chews them and they can be reused.
How to Give Your Baby a Milk Bath
Run a shallow bath if your baby will be lying back and then add enough milk to make the milk cloudy. Around 7ozs works well. Add too little milk and you won’t necessarily reap the benefits, add too much and your baby may come out smelly a little more milky than you’d like. Most parents use some dairy or dairy free milk and some breastmilk as it can be hard to have enough surplus breastmilk to use pure breastmilk.
Many parents use their own bath and run a shallow, warm bath. Some also use a stylish kitchen sink, a metal bucket or a vintage baby bath with beautiful results.
Pat your baby dry after their milk bath and you should be ready to go. Of course you can use any lotions you normally use if you wish but it’s great to keep it simple if you want to see if any improvements are from the milk.
As milk baths are safe and contain no harsh chemicals it is safe to do it as often as you like or are able to but once a week will probably enough to see the benefits.
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This is a trying time and even with a strong dose of positivity it isn’t an ideal situation. So many changes, uncertainty, stress and lack of emotional support from our social networks are a strain mentally and the same goes for kids so they may be acting up. Here are a few tips for dealing with parenting in lockdown:
Lower your expectations, a lot
This may be the biggest thing you can do to keep your sanity. Many of us inadvertently raised our expectations when we readied ourselves for the challenge of dealing with lockdown. When yourself and your children are dealing with any major life changes or stress you wouldn’t normally expect to be on the top of your game. This is no different.
Structure
Structure your days around meal times or schoolwork times. But you can be creative. This is unique opportunity to do things your own way so you don’t necessarily need to replicate the routine that you’ve had in the past. Structure and predictability can be reassuring but also a bit boring sometimes so it’s ok to break from routine too.
Keep everyone active
Exercise increases levels of endorphins and helps everybody sleep better at night too. Get the kids to set up an assault course for you all to do or just turn to YouTube for Cosmic Kids Yoga or Joe Wicks’ P.E when you can’t be bothered with creativity!
Do the things you don’t usually have time for
Think of the things youGet a load of pots and pans out for teeny ones to bang on, set up a tent to camp in the garden with older kids or scavenger hunts work at pretty much any age. Or a pamper day, more crafts and baking? You can’t go wrong with more cake.
Give yourself a break
If your situation allows, have both parents take turns having a break and doing something for yourself. Family time is great but it’s not always easy being together 24/7. If taking time out isn’t so easy then the TV is fine. I think we all feel like watching more at the moment and the kids are no different. If that makes you feel too guilty then an audio book could be a better solution or let the kids find music that they like. Sometimes they play more happily with some noise in the background.
Make laziness a choice
So you’re not feeling motivated about making much of the day. Don’t feel guilty that you’re all still in your pjs at 2pm and the house is a state. It’s what you have chosen for that day. Take ownership of that choice. It didn’t just happen to you, you made it for a reason. Probably because you need a break.
Think positive (and negative)
The end is (kind of) in sight and many of us have found some positive elements to this new situation and learnt some surprising things about ourselves. But sometimes we don’t feel so upbeat and that’s hardly surprising. Don’t beat yourself up and feel you failed to be a positive person just because you’re having a rubbish day. It really does happen to everyone.
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Hand prints
If you’re able to keep a baby’s hands still for long enough then handprints are a classic keepsake that provide a physical reminder or how tiny they used to be! If you don’t have any clay then paint will do and there are loads of clever designs available online to follow. You could make cards to keep in touch with grandparents while you’re at it.
Turn to nature for inspiration
Pressing flowers can open up a whole new world of potential craft projects. Collecting them can also provide motivation to get out of the house for older kids who might be getting sick of their daily “exercise” by this point.
Make something beautiful from something… not so beautiful
If you have a toddler who likes to create “art” that looks like an explosion in paint factory then don’t despair. This clever artist has created some beautiful animal pictures from kids’ experiments and the templates are available here so you can make your own. Just try to limit the colours that you give them so you don’t just end up with several brown pieces of artwork.
Make box to store first toys etc.
If you’re super organised and creative then a beautiful box store reminders of your baby’s first year can keep them safely together. Just make sure it’s big enough as there will be a few things! You could include hospital tags and new baby cards as well as their first present and favourite toy.
Display it instead
I’ve limited myself to one small box of baby clothes to remember how little and cuddly my babies once were and the box is currently living at the back of wardrobe. Marie Kondo recommends choosing just one outfit to keep and presenting your child’s special outfit in a frame so it can bring you joy every day.
Scrapbook
For those looking for a longer project then perhaps a scrapbook is more up your street. Scrapbooking has developed into a full blown hobby for some and all sorts of accessories available like these really cute bumble bee stickers.
Frame it
When kids are a bit older they can become very proud of the pictures that they create and want each one to be displayed. My fridge is currently plastered with artwork but if you want a tidier solution then these ingenious frames not only display your children’s drawings but can also store another 49 pieces of art behind so they save storage space too!
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Don’t be scared of seeking medical help
It’s understandable to be reluctant to be around other people when the government is advising us to avoid it but yours and the baby’s health are always the priority. If you’re at all worried before, during or after labour then contact your midwife.
Exercise
Ok it’s not the best time to take up running or cycling (ouch), just a walk is enough. Exercise and sunshine will cheer you up on a bad day and plus, we’re allowed, so no guilt. When your new baby’s world consists only of your four walls and the people within them, a stroll outside can give them something different to look at too.
Take advantage of the isolation
Being unable to have visitors could be turned into a positive. Often we feel under pressure to let everyone meet the new arrival but if you’re not allowed then you’ll have the perfect excuse to cosy up at home together in that fourth trimester and rest and recharge.
Your plans might have changed
If you were hoping to go back to work quite soon after your baby being born and that is no longer possible you could be finding yourself in a role of stay at home parent which you hadn’t been planning for. It’s ok to feel disappointed and to find it hard living with something that you didn’t choose!
Stay connected
We’re finding great new ways of staying connected during lockdown. Keep up your zoom and FaceTime nights with friends. You don’t even need to get dressed. Bonus!
Make memories
You can still record your baby’s “firsts” and share them with family as well as saving keepsakes like new baby cards and presents. It’s hard that grandparents and other important people in your life can’t meet the baby straight away but it’s still possible to include them in the excitement by sending videos and photos.
Don’t compare yourself to everyone else
We all know that social media is not truly representative of people’s lives. Don’t obsess about your friends’ perfect lockdown experiences. It’s probably not real! I’m pretty sure I’ve never met anyone who under normal circumstances had a totally relaxed and blissful post natal experience so don’t expect that of yourself during a pandemic!
Keep an eye on your anxiety
There are a lot of worries going around and anxiety can be contagious. Focus on self care or try some techniques to help you be aware of the effects of anxiety on your body and your thought processes. Most importantly, remember to be kind to yourself.
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First things first, making sure you’re ready.
We’re all for grabbing an opportunity when you see one but make sure your little one is actually showing signs that they’re ready to potty train. NHS guidance suggests waiting until they can go at least an hour without wetting their nappy and they know they need to pee or when they are doing it and can tell you so.
Plan ahead.
Lots of people like to use stickers or sweets as a reward for successful potty visits. If this is your preferred method just make sure you plan ahead. We’re not hitting the shops as often now so it’s more important than ever to get supplies in advance. Also pants! Put in that clothing order before you start. Skirts (or kilts) make for fewer clothes changes too.
Make using the potty normal.
Basically you want your child to build an association with peeing in the potty and not wherever they happen to be. But the potty or toilet can seem daunting at first. Try reading books about using the potty or getting older siblings to provide a demonstration. Big kids seem to think this is hilarious and it’s certainly more desirable than doing it yourself!
Don’t pile on the pressure.
Try putting your toddler on the potty every hour or half hour but if nothing is happening let them go and do their thing. It looks like lockdown might go on for a while yet so there’s no rush to get this thing done and dusted right away.
Remember siblings.
A slight downside of potty training during lockdown is that if you have older children then they will of course be at home with you and not at school. This needn’t be too much of problem. Just be prepared to provide extra juices or smarties for them too. Who doesn’t want a smartie for going for a wee, just saying.
Peepod mats
I love these! An ingenious design sold by a mum-run business Joizi which soaks up 2 litres plus of fluids. We used these for the sofas and beds for night time training.
Stick with it, or don’t…
Lockdown is a new situation for all of us. If life is getting too stressful and the potty training situation isn’t helping it’s ok to leave it for a while. Even if you’re sure your child is ready, if you’re not, there’s no shame in delaying until you can manage the added stress.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/potty-training-tips/
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Do you have a zelcro baby? Or a toddler who can maintain a hold on you like a baby monkey? There are a few ways you can help your baby cope with separation anxiety but the good news it usually isn’t a sign of a real problem and is usually just a healthy (but sometimes difficult) part of child development
Just when you think life with a baby isn’t too exhausting and suddenly your baby can’t bear to be away from your for a moment to play, eat or even sleep. You try to be sensitive but occasionally you need to put them down and it can be emotionally draining to hear them whinge or cry each time you leave the room.
As your baby is developing their understanding of the world and the people around them they begin to realise that their main caregiver is separate to themselves and that this person who tends to their every need can potentially go away. Of course we know that we won’t go to the bathroom and stay their for the rest of our lives (sometimes tempting?) but your baby doesn’t know that yet. Even at three years old my son still looks relieved and slightly surprised as he says “Mummy you comed back!” each time I collect him from nursery. Separation anxiety isn’t a bad thing and babies don’t need to be rushed out of it, but by gently allowing them opportunities to see it is really fine to be away from you they can make their way through and remain confident and secure in their relationship with you.
Written by Mary Reay
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If you've ever received judgement or criticism of your parenting skills ... keep scrolling for tips from our other Yummi-Mummies:
Jennifer's advice: Surround yourself with positivity! Pick a few of your favourite things people have said to you about your baby and parenting, write them on post its and dot them around your house. You focus on the positives a hundred times a day with your wee ones - do the same for yourself. There's only one way to rise above and that's to spread your wings and soar. ️
Emma said: Good cry, fresh air (walk/jog/cycle) preferably on a windy day. I find going outside gives me perspective - sounds cheesy but we are a tiny cog in a big universe. You got this! ️
Becky wants to remind us that we all feel judged and we are all HUMAN: Goodness, I regularly feel judged and that’s by people I meet and about me / my parenting / my work ethic ... It’s hard enough being a mum without additional pressure of other people’s opinions. It does hurt whatever the criticism may be about, we are human and are doing our darn hardest to be everything to too many people. ️
Kulsuma had some incredible insight: No matter how good you are, someone is always going to be against you, take the negative and make it into a position, you rise above it my friend because no matter how good you are there will always be someone against you, the fact of life, say to yourself do you want to be a fighter and keep going or a victim and lie down. You got this, one negative dose no outdo all the positive ️
Tamsim says: the fact you even give a shit what anyone else thinks shows that you are a great mum. If you question how good you are.... you ARE good! Probably great. You care enough to self analyse.
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How to celebrate a New Year when every day can feel the same.
I remember my first Christmas as a mum ... it was magical. My daughter was perfect (well, perfectly imperfect as all little ones are) and I loved holding her close and soaking up all the cuddles with my newborn baby.
There's something so special about a family Christmas and it elevates you from couple to someone who can enjoy Santa Claus even when your baby has no clue what is going on.
People kept telling me to enjoy every moment because ' the days are long but the years fo fast' and although, with hindsight, I know this to be true ... this time was both beautiful and isolating.
Feeding
Burping
Changing
Sleeping
Repeat
All day, every day!
Don't get me wrong ... I loved being a mum but there is something so isolating about the most beautiful thing on earth.
I was up at all hours and couldn't tell you if it was Monday or Friday and 3am or 3pm.
Every day felt ... well the same! So, how was I to celebrate 2014 like I used to?
What were my plans for the year?
Hmmm, let me think? That's it! Keeping this little one alive, hopefully sleeping more than 5 hours in a row and trying to shower without a call from the other room that I am needed.
For me it was quite simple... I learned to live in the now more. I asked myself: what do I love about this moment and what do I want to change?
I loved loved loved the cuddles, play and adventures so i ate them up with passion.
I wanted to change the feeling of isolation so I got out there and made some other mum friends and headed to baby classes, lunches out, trips to play cafes and walks in the park. Sure, we spoke a lot about the babies but that's what bonded us together at the time. As the little ones got older - our friendships progressed.
This was long before baby number 2 inspired me to start Yummikeys and baby number 3 made it a must so within the blink of an eye I was back in my corporate job and living a different type of groundhog day.
Trust me when I say ... the days are long but the years go fast and enjoy your cuddles.
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By April 2016 we had still not fallen pregnant and my plan was dwindling before my eyes - I just assumed another summer baby may be on the cards and I should just stop worrying about maximising my maternity pay (it doesn’t help that I’m married to an accountant!). After 6 months I went to the doctor as I just knew something wasn’t right - thankfully, given that I was almost 34 (and lied and said I’d been trying for a year!) they referred me and hubby for the preliminary tests hormone / semen analysis tests. All came back fine so I was told to keep trying. After a few more months I went back to the doctor and insisted they check for anything else - this doctor was more sympathetic and referred me to a specialist at the local hospital. I was insanely lucky and got seen within about 12 weeks. So now it’s 2017 and I’m booked in for more blood tests, scans, an HSG (scan whilst having due pumped into your lady area!) to check tubes were open and clear - and all good. Picture of fertility health apparently! Still not pregnant though!
They decided to try me on Clomid - a drug that increases ovulation (despite the fact my cycles were perfectly regular and all scans and tests showed I was ovulating regularly!) and in the first month on it I was told to prepare for twins! Still didn’t fall pregnant! The second month wiped me out - I couldn’t handle the side effects and I decided to stop taking it as I knew I ovulated so that clearly wasn’t the issue.
We decided to take some time off from planning intercourse, taking basal body temperature each morning, tracking my cycle and just chill out and see what happened. Still didn’t fall pregnant! By March 2018 I was at breaking point and a trip away with my school tipped me over the edge - I realised how utterly sad I was with everything and we decided to bite the bullet and go for IVF. We had already spoken to some clinics and had an initial discussion with the one we went with in the end. Again more tests, scans and semen analysis - more great results that didn’t tell us anything. But the consultant said one thing I haven’t forgotten: “You have secondary, unexplained infertility - it doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with you, it means we’re not clever enough to know what it is yet”. Finally someone was telling me something was wrong - I knew it! I didn’t care that they didn’t know what it was, I was just glad that someone was acknowledging that I wasn’t going crazy.
The road to an IVF baby is never easy and I made it slightly more complicated in three ways:
Firstly, I got myself a nice little ovarian cyst just as I was due to start medication to prepare my ovaries for egg collection - that delayed us for a month but wasn’t a big deal in the end.
Secondly, a scan to check my uterus was clear and ready for implantation showed some scar tissue and possible fibroid. Brilliant! Cue conversation about paying to have it all removed privately or wait for the nhs to help us out.
Our dilemma was answered a few weeks later when I realised I didn’t have my period yet - left it a few days and thought the stress may have messed things about a bit but no - I was apparently pregnant for the first time in 3 years! Early scans showed it was twins! I walked around in shock for a few weeks until a scan at 8 weeks revealed one baby had disappeared (vanishing twin syndrome) and the other had no heart beat. On my husbands birthday I miscarried. On Christmas Eve 2018 it was confirmed with the worst timed scan appointment in the world.
Again we took some time out and decided to wait for the NHS procedure to check all was ok for the previously planned IVF embryo transfer. Then everything went at 100mph! On a Wednesday in June 2019 the camera showed a clear uterus with no fibroids or scar tissue. Two days later our IVF consultant said we could start medication for the transfer the first day of my next cycle. Three days later I was in the IVF clinic picking up my meds and having more blood tests and scans. After 17 days on 3rd July we had one healthy embryo transferred in a simple procedure. Two weeks later we found out it stuck and we’re now at 21 weeks with a little girl to add to our brood. It’s been a long road and we’re not done yet - our little one has a heart condition which is likely to need surgery but she’s survived egg collection, fertilisation, being grown in a lab for 5 days, chromosomal testing, freezing, thawing and implantation. She’s a fighter so we won’t worry unless we have to.
Infertility is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and I have complete love, understanding and empathy for anyone else going through it. Counselling really helped us through this process and I would recommend it to anyone. It helped me talk to someone who just knew what I was going through and it helped my husband understand how to support me and that it was ok that he couldn’t fix everything. I would recommend to anyone to talk to someone - not a family member but just someone you can sob in front of and slag off people who have said stupid things to you without any comeback! I can’t tell you how many times I was told it would be ok because I was “still young”, or “already had one” so should “be grateful” or to “just relax”! Not helpful! I did the stupid thing and took on more and more at work and personally in the hope it would stop the constant thoughts about babies and the possibility of my son not having the sibling he so wanted. I worked myself into the ground, I was back in work the day after I miscarried - I had to carry on as normal or it might all be real. I realised after that day I needed to reevaluate and got a new job - part time thankfully! - that was closer to home. I have never been happier and now I’m not taking for granted my own health and happiness by taking on more than I need to.
Written by a friend of Yummikeys who wishes to remain anonymous.
I was watching the news this week and the BBC were in Leeds speaking to local business owners about their concerns and questions with the looming general election (don’t worry - I am not going to talk politics).
It got me thinking deeply about what it means to be a British Business and to be committed to contributing to the local and national economy.
Firstly I wanted to answer a commonly asked questions about Yummikeys. One for wish I had a difficult answer:
Are Yummikeys made in the UK?
The short answer is no and that they are made in China.
Often I am met with: “Surely with a steel industry and history these could definitely be made in the UK?” “Is the quality not very low because these are made in China?”
The long story is that it breaks my heart that we were absolutely not able to get Yummikeys made in the UK, and especially not to the very high quality we insist on. ..after all we are dealing with your child’s safety!
I spent a year having my first batch made here. I spent months contacting hundreds of factories and eventually I found one factory that could partner with me. Bingo, I thought … until I realised that this factory could not polish them and I had to find a separate polisher.
Over the time the quality was decreasing and the costs were rapidly increasing. The UK production resulted in a retail price of £30 - which did not fit with my vision of providing a product that was excellent value for money. My customers made their feelings clear and I was met with consistent comments about the price.
In summary … the process was clunky, costly and I was exhausted trying to coordinate everything with 3 (very) young children.
It broke my heart when I started to look at China as a possible production base for my products…. until I realised just why I couldn’t find a factory in the UK that was able to produce Yummikeys at a reasonable price.
The steel industry, or sadly what remains of it, in the UK is very large architectural steel or small water jet cut unpolished components. After the first batch I had made sadly the 4th generation factory I had managed to find also closed down. This was such a huge shame but my teeny order wasn’t what they were geared for or what they needed to survive.
Yummikeys are now made in a luxury stainless steel factory in China.
One that specialises in this type of production … meaning the quality is phenomenally high.
The factory I use adhere to all of the labour and environmental 🌍 laws in China which are strict and allow us to make the best quality toys.
But the production of Yummikeys is just part of my business and what makes me proud to be a British Business.
Sure, Yummikeys are manufactured in China… but they're made in The UK.
Elspeth x x
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All of a sudden I discovered that sleep was now considered a major milestone in the life of my child and somehow an indication of how good a mother I was.
So, as a mum of 3 children (all of which had very different sleep patterns) …my advice to you is to LISTEN TO NO ONE!
Especially not me!
The world has become obsessed with sleep and ensuring babies get their 12 hours from as early as possible.
There were times I would have sold our house for a tenner if my youngest would just sleep through the night and I realised very quickly that … every child is different.
So many things will impact your sleep patterns post baby such as your BABY (first and foremost the most important factor), your lifestyle (perhaps you have other children which impacts your baby’s naps), your priorities and your parenting style (you might be strict with naps or maybe you are a co sleeper).
Be you. Do what works for you and remember that the advice you should listen to … is the advice that works for you and your baby
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With some conflicting advice out there it’s hard to know what to do and how to start combination feeding. And when. I spoke to Yvonne Fairholm, who runs a breastfeeding support group, for some advice on the matter.
Why might I want to mixed feed?
“Mums often tell me they combination feed as a breast feed doesn’t fill their baby as when they are then offered a bottle they guzzle it then fall asleep. It is important here to understand the anatomy of breast feeding and a babies reflex to suck. Just because they take the bottle doesn’t necessarily mean they are starving.”
The primary reason for starting to combination feed is that registered and experienced health professionals have recommended it for your baby's weight gain. We would advise you get a second opinion if this is suggested to you as advice does vary and a qualified breastfeeding supporter will be able to offer you support in your decision at this stage. and help you to ensure you can maintain your breastfeeding supply.
It is normal for babies to suck a lot and if their weight is fine then what can feel like constant feeding is not necessarily a sign that you are low on milk. This is only a route that should be followed if advised by a professional that it's required. If you know this and you’d still like to introduce a bottle then you might be wondering how and when to do so.
Timing
“It is ideal to establish breast feeding before commencing combination feeding.” Establishing breastfeeding can be difficult so it may be advisable to wait a few weeks until introducing bottles so as not to undermine your supply. To establish a good supply your body should be providing milk 8-12 times every 24 hours for the first few weeks so this could be through breastfeeding or expressing. If your supply is well established before you commence mixed feeding then hopefully you will be able to keep up the breastfeeding part for as long as you want to. It should be noted here than many parents find it difficult to ensure they keep up their breastfeeding supply and you will benefit from an experience breastfeeding supporter.
Remember to introduce bottle feeds gradually to reduce the chances of developing mastitis. It can take 3 to 7 days for your breasts to adjust to missing one feed so perhaps try dropping one feed a week until you get to the number of breastfeeds and bottle feeds which you're aiming for.
What to use
Sometimes babies who have been breastfed can be reluctant to take a bottle but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a break. You could try getting someone else to give the first bottle feed or using a different method of feeding. “Bottles and breasts are not the only option for feeding your baby. Many parents choose to cup feed or syringe feed.”
“If using formula milk remember that all formula has to meet strict standards so expensive doesn’t mean best.” As long it’s standard first formula and not hungry baby or follow on milk they should be pretty much the same so don’t stress about which brand you use. If in doubt, just check with your health visitor.
Weighing up the Pros and Cons
Health-wise breastfeeding is best for babies and breastmilk is easier for babies to digest than formula.
However, if you would otherwise be stopping breastfeeding entirely combination feeding can still provide these benefits to some degree. The baby can still receive antibodies from breastmilk. Mixed feeding can suit many people who are not able or do not wish to keep up full time breastfeeding.
Future Blogs
At Yummikeys we are big breastfeeding supporters but are also an inclusive community and we are covering all forms of feeding here and upcoming blogs will be:
Tube Feeding
Exclusive Breastfeeding
Bottle Feeding
If you need breastfeeding support or advice there are many fantastic support groups across the UK. NCT and La Leche are great places to start. We'll be adding a page of support available in the Lothians and will add a link here tonight.
By Mary Reay
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Toys
There are so many plastic free toys for children to enjoy and these options can provide babies and toddlers with a range of different textures to explore whilst avoiding potentially harmful chemicals in plastics such as phthalates or BPA. Wooden toys are often also more durable than plastic and there are also some gorgeous plastic free baby dolls such as this Bonikka doll in a carry cot. Not to mention Yummikeys and Yummirings which are made from stainless steel so you don’t need to worry about any chemicals there. Charity shops, nearly new sales and social media groups often have some great second hand toys too. These purchases are generally cheaper and you can effectively spread the environmental impact from the production.
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Be prepared
Nursing bras, nursing tops, nipple cream. Get your equipment ready before you start. Leaks happen so get some breast pads. Reusables are a great option for the environment and often more comfortable.
Watch out for blocked ducts and mastitis
Both can be painful and mastitis can make you very ill. If you have a blocked duct try feeding with the baby’s chin in the direction of the blockage. Change sides regularly and make sure your bra is not too tight to try and avoid these problems.
It can be a bit awkward, but it’s usually not as bad as you expect
I was dreading breastfeeding in front of people but once you get on with it it’s really not so bad especially if you find the right clothes that work for you or use a scarf or blanket. Or just go for it if that is what you prefer! Legally you can breastfeed uncovered in public places so remember that if you feel under pressure to stop.
Breastfeeding might not last for the length of time that you had planned
Many of us have an age in mind that we hope to breastfeed until but things don’t always go to plan. Breastfeeding can be much harder to maintain than we imagine but equally it can be hard to stop when your baby won’t accept any alternatives.
It makes you really hungry and thirsty!
Do not sit down to feed without a drink!!!
It can be an amazing bonding experience
But so can bottle feeding, finding the perfect way to get them to sleep, bathing them. Loads of different experiences will help bonding so there’s no need to pin all your hopes on breastfeeding providing that.
There’s a good chance you’ll need help and it is available
I definitely felt a bit abandoned when I was moved onto the ward after having my first before I’d managed to feed her properly. If you can’t figure it out, ask for help but try not to panic. They’re not going to send you home without making sure the baby is being fed. Once you’re home your midwife or health visitor can direct you towards local support groups or charities such as laleche for extra support.
Cluster feeding is a thing
Just when you think you’ve settled in at home after returning from hospital your baby starts fussing and crying constantly for a whole night. Babies cluster feed at the beginning of a growth spurt so you will have more milk for them over the next few days. It’s totally fine and the baby isn’t starving!
You might need to develop a thick skin
A lot of people are going to have an opinion about what you’re doing. They probably mean well and have forgotten how much of a sensitive issue it can be so try not to take it to heart.
Change what you focus on depending on how it’s going
If it’s working for you, focus on all the health benefits you’ve heard about breastfeeding and give your self something to feel good about. If breastfeeding isn’t working, forget all the facts and figures and feel strong that you’re making a decision based on what is best for you both. Formula milk is absolutely fine so leave all the statistics behind and enjoy feeding your baby in the way that works for you.
Written by Mary Reay
https://maternityaction.org.
A few of our lovely customers and their YummiNecklaces - designed to soothe fidgeting feeding babies.
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Having a baby can create so many dramatic changes to our lifestyle and our relationships that it’s no wonder it’s a really hard time for many people. Most of us are lucky enough that this can be the most disruptive event in our lives and while it’s lovely, it really does change everything. The day before your baby was born you could eat, sleep, bathe, go out whenever you wanted. Now you have to inform someone of your whereabouts because a small human is constantly dependent on you and they have to be handed over in order for you to do anything on your own. With this loss of freedom it’s not surprising that many of us feel low and as though we can’t cope. During this time as many as 13% of women worldwide this can receive a diagnosis of mental health disorders such as postnatal depression, anxiety or PTSD.
It’s understandable to feel that initially many of the changes after birth are negative and the more positive changes don’t come until later. By that I mean that a few years down the line you may feel that you have become a stronger, more independent person through parenting and having to really reflect and know your own mind. But initially, while of course we gain the perfect baby that we love, most of the other changes are losses and not gains, unless you count more opportunities to sing nursery rhymes as a gain.
So, it’s ok not to be ok after having your baby. It’s ok to grieve for your old life that you didn’t really know you were about to lose. It’s ok to wear your pjs all day. It’s ok not to want to go to baby groups and meet other mums. It’s ok to change and be a different person and it’s ok to not want to and to do everything in your power to remain who you were. It's ok to need more support and to ask for it. It’s ok to work and it’s ok to not. It’s ok to cry and feel angry. It’s ok to resent your baby for keeping you awake and resent their father for sleeping and resent everyone who still has the freedom that you didn’t realise you were taking for granted. Although it might not feel like it yet, you will gain far more in the long run than you will lose.
Written by Mary Reay for Yummikeys
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Parental burnout has three features;
1) Physical and emotional exhaustion,
2) Feeling emotional distance from your children due to the exhaustion and therefore only interacting on a functional level and
3) Feeling that you are not doing a good job of being a parent.
These are all things that can happen to us all for short periods but the problem is when it becomes a long term issue.
Why does parental burnout happen?
You might expect that income, number of children and amount of help available would be the main factors in developing parental burnout and while these do contribute, the main contributors are actually related to the nature of the parents themselves. Parents who are really trying their hardest to get everything perfect are at more risk, which perhaps isn’t so surprising after all.
How Can You Protect Yourself From Parental Burnout?
1) Try not to focus on outcomes and enjoy the ride.
Focussing on the academic success of our children, their compliance or positive reaction to the meal that we’ve cooked can increase our stress levels, particularly when the outcome is unfavourable. To increase the rewards and reduce the demands upon ourselves as parents try to worry less about success and allow yourself to enjoy the moment that you are in with your child. Your child is doing exactly what they “should” be as a child when they misbehave, push boundaries, reject an activity that they don’t enjoy or have a tantrum when they’re exhausted after school. If we try to enjoy our relationship with them rather than assessing how we’re doing in our project of parenting them we can rebalance our rewards and demands.
2) Look at your routine and remove some parts that you don’t find enjoyable.
Sounds simple enough right? So if you find yourself stressed every Thursday when the children have multiple extracurricular activities that you have to facilitate, it’s ok to drop some of those for now. If you get yourself worked up delivering the perfect balanced diet of organic planet friendly plant based meals, consider paring down that complicated menu to a few trusty favourites. With a few small alterations to our ideas of “perfect” parenting, we find ourselves with more time with our children to enjoy their company. If it’s not possible to remove the offending activity consider accepting help from others to complete it.
3) Try not to see yourself as a helpless victim of your situation.
Whichever activities remain in your schedule after some pruning are there of your own choosing. So try to remind yourself that deep down this is what you wanted and that is why you are choosing to do it, whether it’s keeping a tidy house, home cooking or facilitating your children’s hobbies. If it’s still too much of a burden think again about changing it for something that you can manage.
Remember, you can't control everything but you can modify your attitude to your situation and you don't need to try to be perfect because your family already think that you are!
By Mary Reay
Based on the study by Roskam I, Raes ME, Mikolajczak M (2017) Exhausted Parents: Development and Preliminary Validation of the Parental Burnout Inventory.
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Blog written by Mary Reay for Yummikeys.
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Expectations for sleep
My baby would sleep and if not I’d read a book and do some effective sleep training and they’d sleep through early.
Reality
Nope. I’ve not even read a single parenting book. Surely the answer is on Mumsnet? Nope. Turns out there is no answer. Only survival. Some of mine slept, one didn’t, and I treated them all the same.
Expectations for feeding
They’d all be breastfed but happily take bottles too so I’d be able to get my freedom back pretty fast.
Reality
I've been fortunate to be able to breastfeed all three (although the promised skinniness didn’t materialise and I actually gained weight with a huge breastfeeding appetite) but none of them wanted a bottle and it turned out I didn’t want to leave them anyway, or leave the sofa each evening for that matter so I didn’t exactly try hard. Plus breastfeeding really, really hurt at first and at random points when I got thrush, cracked nipples and mastitis.
Expectations for food
I’d make all my baby and children’s food, buy organic and of course they’d eat all fruit and vegetables and only drink water.
Reality
I did manage this for a good while with our oldest actually and felt like a super mum. Our second was weaned onto jars and pouches and number 3 has been weaned directly onto toast, yoghurt and pasta and pesto and whatever else the oldest ones are eating.
Expectations for screen time
My children wouldn’t have any screen time. They wouldn’t even want it because we’d be so busy doing fun and educational activities together outside.
Reality
We do get out a lot, mainly because life is a lot easier with three children out of the house. But they are also familiar with every programme on Cbeebies and we have become those parents who give them a screen in a restaurant (if we ever brave going out that is).
Expectations for tanrtums
I was sure that my children wouldn’t have tantrums. I mean why would they – they’d know their boundaries from an early age.
Reality
My first and third have broken me and will battle over anything. Usually something I couldn’t possibly change even if I wanted to and so I very, very carefully pick my battles. Common triggers were (and still are) getting dressed, waking up, going to bed, food served on the wrong coloured plate, sliced cheese not grated, wrong colour of said cheese to name a few.
Expectations for becoming a classy French mother
I’d be like the French (sure I read this somewhere – probably putting my feet up when pregnant with my first pregnancy) and take my children to restaurants and out to adult places so they’d quickly learn to behave and enjoy those environments.
Reality
When our oldest was a baby we did manage this and felt sure that having a baby hadn’t changed our lives that much and that she’d just slotted in. Then she became a toddler. And like all my children a wild, fearless and quite angry toddler, and going out became awful and that was that. Picnics are our thing now, which are French at least I suppose.
Expectations for having a break
Everyone would be so keen to look after my babies and to have them overnight that we’d have lovely hotel breaks every couple of months.
Reality
When we had one baby, people were quite keen to have her. But then I didn’t want to leave her overnight and she was very breastfed – see feeding expectations. Although we’d not realised how much babies actually like their parents and don’t want to go other places very much most of the time. Now we have three and let me tell you, no one wants to take three. Best case scenario you can split them up but without a lot of family close this isn’t very possible. We’ve not had a single night away in 5 and a half years but have watched an awful lot of box sets.
Expectations for becoming an earth mother
I’d be an earth mother, patient, serene and glowing with a gaggle of beautiful sun kissed children behind me.
Reality
I do trudge down the muddy garden daily, exhausted in PJs and a dressing down and wellies to let the chickens out with a half clothed toddled running after me and baby on my hip. Somehow it doesn’t feel the same.
Expectations for my baby’s personality
I very much thought that my likes and dislikes and what I exposed by baby and child to would influence their personality.
Reality
Babies seem to arrive into the world as these perfectly formed little people with their own personality and who absolutely shape their world. I love watching who they’re becoming and how innately “them” they are.
Expectations for how much I'd love them
I really was worried I might not love my baby enough. And when pregnant with my second I was even more worried I'd not be able to love my second as much as my first. I lay awake at night a lot worrying about this.
Reality
I never knew I could feel so much love for these little people in my life and my heart has swelled with each one.
And here is my reality! Although lets face it, a very glossed over version - because who takes photos of the huge mid super market meltdowns, ipad time or beige dinners :-)
Elspeth x
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Edinburgh Wooden Toys
Newly opened and based in the beautiful New Town, this is Edinburgh’s first seller of solely plastic free toys - combining a wonderfully unusual range of toys and gifts, often local, a play area and a even a wooden toys playgroup across the city.
Independent Zebra
Independent Zebra is a curated marketplace in Stockbridge with a wide range of gifts and accessories and some very beautiful, up cycled furniture. All of the items are designed in Scotland by artists and designers, and many are made there too.
Cortsorphine Pram Shop
This little gem in Edinburgh's Cortsorphine is the place to go for pram and cot advice in Edinburgh. Independent and with an incredible depth of knowledge on each product they stock they're well worth a visit for larger purchases especially.
Kidstop Hairdressers
Kidstop hairdressers is a must-visit if you need a children's hair cut without the stress. Naomi regularly receives rave reviews from happy parents and children and she even offers adult cuts too. They now have a pop up shop with a selection of items from baby clothes to gifts and toys to browse which is well worth a visit.
Edinburgh Baby Co
Edinburgh Baby co stock a refreshingly different range of children's clothes from small suppliers with many in organic cotton. A charming and varied selection of eco toys and even nursery furniture can also be purchased.
Coastal Kids NB
A recent addition to North Berwick's high street and a welcome source of beautiful clothing, accessories and wooden toys for younger children. Our personal highlights include a wide range of Plan toys, jewel encrusted swimming goggles and the beach hut playhouse for children while you shop.
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We were over whelmed with applications and thought you'd all like to see a few of the winning images.
Our first baby star is Sophia who was a dream to work with according to Sarah.
Next up we have the beautiful Ella who loved the Yummikeys and Yummirings.
And last but certainly not least we have the gorgeous Farren.
]]>I've come up with 10 principles to cut down the wastage of christmas but not the fun:
1. Reduce the number of gifts bought - ways to do this include: secret Santa, setting price limits, one gift limit from Father Christmas, want - need - wear - read is also popular.
2. Experience gifts - theatre, memberships, days out, spa vouchers, riding lessons etc. See my separate blog coming soon on ideas.
3. Buy second hand, especially if plastic - charity shops, fairs, Facebook groups and marketplace, gumtree.
4. Be organised! It’s very hard to buy some eco friendly gifts at the last minute (as I discovered recently for my daughter’s birthday!). I’m currently looking for a second hand playmobil hospital for my daughter for her main Christmas gift for example - I know this would be impossible the week before Christmas.
5. Choose high quality gifts which will last and be used again and again and then handed it sold on.
6. Charity donations can replace gifts and some of your friend's and family might love this idea. For children they can sponsor animals, such as at rescue centres and guided puppies,which can make it easier to understand their gift.
7. Buy small/local/uk - there are many online sellers and great local fairs for this. I'll write a separate post on this soon with a few of my favourites.
8. Make gifts - alcohols, biscuits, jams and pickles, knitting, get that sewing machine out if you have. Or can you learn a new skill in time? Woodworking, upholstering, wreath making, cross stitch, painting, patchworking to name a few.
9. Wrap in recyclable wrapping - brown paper or similar, or recycled gift wrap and tie up with string/ribbon or eco friendly sellotape. Or furoshiki (wrapping in reusable silk) if you have the skills or can join a local course.
10. Do a reverse advent calendar - purchase an item yourself or with your child for a local food bank for every day of December until Christmas. A lovely way to teach your child about giving.
Above all I hope you can enjoy the festive period with your loved ones and spend as much quality time as possible with those who mean most to you. Keeping it simple will help reduce waste and your credit card balance but won't stop the fun!
Elspeth
x x x
]]>No matter what camera you have, there are plenty of ways you can improve your images just by making a few simple adjustments...
Check the light!
There is nothing that can ruin a great shot more than terrible lighting! Look for natural light, where possible and have your subject face towards the light source {whether it is artificial light or natural window light.}
Back lit images can look wonderful and whimsical... but most cameras set to auto will struggle with exposure so best avoided, unless you are confident changing the settings yourself.
When shooting outdoors, head for the shade ~ the light is much more flattering there... no squinting eyes or harsh shadows.
Check that background!
If it is too cluttered or there are trees/sign posts/pilons sticking out of someones head it will distract from the focus of the image. So, find a plain wall, large bush/hedge or field and use that, then position your child so that the light is falling onto their face.
If you can't find a plain background and your camera has the ability to change the settings, you can use a shallow depth of field to blur it out {I like an aperture of around f2}
Get down!
Try to photograph from the level of your subject ~ be it a small child or pet, images will always look better and be far more engaging.
However, as with all rules of thumb, there are always exceptions! A shot from above can also make a great image, as well as being very flattering. Get eye contact and make sure the camera is focussed in on the eyes.
Zoom in!
Close up shots look great on a large canvas hung on the wall. Either, move a little closer or use your cameras zoom, if it has one {some cameras have digital zoom and others have optical ~ digital zoom can sometimes result in poorer quality images when zoomed in too much, so watch out for that}
Have fun!
There is a lot to remember in steps one to four so it is important to keep your little ones occupied until you are completely ready to start photographing!
Find your perfect spot ~ maybe it's underneath a shady tree in the garden or local park. Maybe it is on the carpet beside a lovely big window... and then invite them over to play!
Engage them in a game or song and start to take some shots! I love photos where the child is playing and not even looking at the camera ~ remember, not all photos have to have a smiley face looking right into the lens... which brings me to the last top tip...
Don't forget the details!
The toes dangling down from the high chair, those long eye lashes while they sleep. Tiny fingers flicking through the pages of a book... so many little memories that can fade with time. These look so special when put along side all the milestone photos in your children's photo albums and memory books.
Blog kindly written by Susan, Clear photography - professional, local photographers.
http://www.clearphotography.co.uk/kids-baby-portrait-galleries-edinburgh/
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Self-care needs to be taken seriously. However, self-care clashes with all that’s to be expended of being mum. When you become a mother, ALL expectations for caring for your baby become heightened. You’re judged by the world on how you live your day to day. You’re expected to go back to work, run your business, be a friend, partner, daughter, sister, aunt and more. You’re compared to this mother and that baby. It’s all getting a little too much and not enough gratitude is given to us.
Well you can grab some of that back. Letting go of the pressure and putting you first is the first step. Making time for you doesn’t make you a bad mother. Making time for you, gives you an opportunity to rest, recuperate to become a stronger, more efficient mother. There shouldn’t be any guilt in making time for you.
Having “you time” or a moment of self-care can come in many forms. Fitness can be one of them. Fitness at first can seem too far of an accomplishment for some but it’s achievable in bite size sessions! I come from a single-parent situation, where I also work full time and don't own a car. I’m limited on childcare support (as in I literally have zero), so the idea of incorporating fitness into that type of lifestyle seems almost impossible. But it isn’t! If there is a will, there is a way.
Everyone has their own way to incorporate fitness into their life so this isn’t the only example! However if you’re looking to try something at home with little equipment and no fitness jargon, this could be for you.
I manage a HIIT (high intensity interval training) program at home, using my body weight, some home weights and house props. The session is broken into three times a week and for no more than 30 minutes each. What is great is I can take these workout programs with me anywhere. To the park, on holiday, in the house. They work a round my busy schedule (for example I’m up at 6am to get this in before the little one wakes up). They can be divided on the same day to accommodate your needs on the day. Why do I love it? I get results.
Below I have an example of one circuit. This equates to 14 minutes working out. You can visit my website or Instagram to see the full workout videos I do three times a week.
The Plank
Duration : 1 minute hold
Equipment : None.
Plank: Hold in this position for minimum one minute. Engage your core. Shoulders down and pushed away from neck. Head forward, not up not down. This works your abdominal muscles. Once you’re confident you can up the time.
The Bicep Curl
Duration : x15 reps
Equipment: I use 5kg dumbbells. Beginners can use 2 litre water bottles.
The bicep curl: This works your bicep and your tricep areas. Ensure your core is engaged. Feet hip width apart, relaxed knees and straight back. Look forward. Raising your arms up to your shoulders for two seconds and down for four. Try not to assist raising the arms with a shoulder or core movement. Let the arms move alone.
The Lunge
Duration: x12 on each leg
Equipment: I use 5kg dumbbell. Beginners can use 2litre water bottles.
The lunge: This works your quadriceps, glutes and hamstrings. Back straight and core engaged. Nice deep breathe in and lunge forward, ensuring the knee doesn’t go over the position of the foot. Ensure knee never touches the ground and that it is in line with the hip. To advance the exercise, add a double dip in between reps.
The straight arm pull down
Duration: x20 reps
Equipment: Resistance band
The straight arm pull down: This works your core and lats. Core engaged with hands holding the resistance band firmly. Arms straight, bent elbows, at shoulder length, bringing arms straight down to the waist. Breathe in for two seconds coming down and breathe out for four seconds coming back up.
These four exercises should be achieved within 7 minutes with no break in between sets. It can be restored again to accomplish a 14 minute workout. If you are just beginning there are some alternatives. Please message me to find out more!
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